Home For The Holidays

After 9 years of holidays in Guelph, last Christmas I went home for the holidays for the first time ever. It was amazing. It was an eye opener. It was fun. It was cathartic. It was truly the best way I could have spent Christmas without actually living there. It gave the term "Home For The Holidays" a whole new meaning for me. And it gave me an even greater appreciation of the word "home".

My flight landed at approximately 4:30 in the afternoon and by 8 that same evening, not only was I firmly ensconced in my best friend's home and feeling great, but was on my way to spend time with still another good friend. I've been home less than 4 hours and have already connected with two of my closest friends. This is significant mostly I think because these people do not live in the same house. Or even on the same street. They are mutual friends, but both in their own ways, went out of their way to spend time with me, almost immediately. These are special people. Truly special people. They care and they show it. They are Maritimers. And this is who and what we are and do.(I will always consider myself a Maritimer) We love. We spend quality and quantity time. We are loving, caring, nurturing people. And it shows. Just visit a Maritime province (I highly recommend Nova Scotia). You'll see and feel what I'm talking about.

While scattered and seemingly unfocused, this rather odd intro really is going somewhere. You see, with all due respect to the great Thomas Wolfe, I don't believe his adage "you can't go home again". I used to. I really did. Until I went home and proved him wrong. And I am thrilled that I did!

I spent a month in Nova Scotia after a four year absence. Not just in Nova Scotia but in Dartmouth, the city where I spent the first 41 years of my life until I moved here to Guelph 9 years ago. While I have been back to Nova Scotia, I had not been to Dartmouth in 6 years, so before leaving Guelph, I tried my best to prepare for the inevitable shock that I knew was to come after being gone from home for so long. I wondered at the many changes that must have taken place during my years away. I wondered if the genuineness of the people had changed with the passing years. I steeled myself to accept the changes and enjoy simply being home. Imagine my delight when it finally sunk in that not only was I home, but that "home" had not changed! In fact, it had changed so little that that became the shock. Yes there were new buildings. Yes some buildings were gone. But the essence of my home was the same. Right down to my old stomping grounds! The buildings were still there, though a few had had much needed face lifts but the people and the way of life and the water....let's never forget the water (it's not called The City of Lakes for nothing!)....were all still the same!

In Guelph, I'd spent 9 years watching people run from one appointment to the next. Diaries and calendars at the ready so that a coffee date could be scheduled for a month from Tuesday next. That's life in Ontario. It's the way people are. It's the way things work. It's what is. I don't like it, but it's the way life is lived here. By dates, full schedules and good intentioned but often broken promises. Which is why the first two paragraphs of this entry were what they were. To establish the difference between life in Nova Scotia and life in Ontario, one has to look at how life is lived. And not just lived but accepted as the norm. And in Ontario, I cannot conceive of a circumstance where I could send an email saying "I'm here. Where are you?" and promptly getting the reply "give me an hour and I'll be ready" and actually having it happen! It wasn't planned! It wasn't part of the itinerary. It was unscheduled. It doesn't happen here. It did happen there.It was great! I arrived at the airport, was met by my best friend, drove to her place where I didn't even bother unpacking (My God what was I thinking??), spent a few hours chatting and catching up, then shot off the afore-mentioned email. And then we were three! And the three of us spent a very long, very impromptu, incredibly wonderful evening together. All totally unscripted! (well, except for the airport part but even there the plane was late!). A totally unrehearsed, unplanned, fun filled evening among friends. Copious quantities of coffee were consumed. Very little sleep was had. All in all it was a great night. At home. Wow. What a great welcome home! Then the fun began.

Holidays, especially Christmas I think, mean different things to different people. Ergo, everyone has a different idea of what makes Christmas "special" for them. It's a very individual thing and there is no right or wrong. As long as the happiness is there, it's your holiday. For some it's about friends. For others, presents. Still others feel that immediate family is what it's all about and no one shall encroach upon this sacred ritual. Some look forward to Christmas simply because the food is usually great if not downright spectacular! For me, Christmas is pretty much all of the above. I'd be less than honest if I said that I didn't care about gifts. I do. But in order to be truly appreciated, a gift has to have thought, love and care put into it. Otherwise save your money. In fact, in many cases, saving your money and making me something is absolutely the best way to go for a gift for me! The old adage "it's the thought that counts" didn't get to be an old adage for no reason! I love the food too. I have a sweet tooth that refuses to be denied, especially at Christmas so when those cookies are brought out, make way....I'm coming through!! I do love cookies! Especially the kinds that seem to crop up only around Christmas. And people. What would gifts and cookies and even turkey for that matter be, without wonderful people to share it with? My answer is "not much!". Over the years I have come to realize that blood has little to do with family. My family are those people I choose to love and share my life with. Not necessarily people with whom I share DNA. That's okay. It works and the people I call "family" are all people I love and who love me. That's what families are made of. Love. Simply put. One word. All encompassing. Love. It makes the world go 'round and it creates and sustains families.....no matter what kind of family you have. And that's what my Christmas was. Friends, great food, presents, my own brand of "family" and love. Lots and lots of love. No timetables. No diaries. No loved ones saying "sorry...no time". Real people, doing real things, in real time. Yes people had jobs. Yes there were obligations to be fulfilled. But never at anyone else's expense. No one was ever "left out" because people were "too busy". This, is what home is. This is what I miss so much. This is what I love. And this was my Christmas this year. Home. It means so many different things to so many different people but I think it all boils down to the same thing in the final analysis. If you are where you love and are loved, you are home. I was indeed....home.

And this people, believe it or not, is only Part I!!! Stay tuned! It gets better!
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