Well, as promised in my last post, there is more. Welcome to Part II. And what an incredible Part II it is....at least for me! If you find yourself getting bored...bear with me...it just may be worth it. :+)
They say (the infamous "they" strike again!) that Christmas is a time for miracles. While this doesn't exactly qualify as a miracle, for me it is so truly strange/freaky/wonderful that it at least rated writing about.
One of the neatest things about my Christmas at home was the incorporation of friends in a larger way than ever before into my Holiday. Waking up Christmas morning with my best friend. Sharing Christmas dinner with friends who had come together as "family" and of course, meeting new friends who might eventually rate that precious word "family" to me. Such was my Christmas season. Wonderful old friends and great new ones. One of whom in particular made a special sort of impression on me simply because he was such a nice guy. While nice people are not at all unusual in the Maritimes, it's still always nice to meet new people. This man was great fun. Introduced by my best friend, we quickly found that we had much in common and struck up a nice, easy friendship. We visited him often while I was home for the holidays and we always had great fun. Sharing music,stories, laughter and camaraderie, I had yet another reason for being grateful for being home. Meeting a wonderful new friend. Knowing that eventually I had to return to Ontario, we became Facebook friends in an effort to stay connected at least in some small way. While I know that so many people hate Facebook, I'm not one of them. When you have friends around the world especially, it's a great way to stay connected. It also helps maintain the sense of belonging I feel every time I go home. So Facebook it is. My new friend from home and I are still Facebook friends. And he is still a very sweet man who I proudly call "friend". But, like all good things, my trip home had to end and I had to come back to Ontario. I left NS on January 9th having spent a wonderful New Year's Eve and Day with my friends - old and new and came back with rather a heavy heart. I missed my home and friends already...and that was all while I was still on the plane!
Now I am back in Ontario. It had been a little over a month and life was pretty much the same as life in Ontario always has been. While I do have a few good friends here, nothing can ever compare to what home delivers up to me whenever I am lucky enough to be there. But life goes on and I'm trying to make the best of it. To that end I have decided to try and meet new people. Something, by the way, that for the most of the nine years I've been here, I've abhorred. When first I moved to Ontario I tried everything I knew to "fit in". I joined clubs. I started going to church again. I volunteered. None of it brought me the friends I sought so desperately. At least not for quite a number of years. I did meet a few very special people over the nine year course, but only a few and after trying so hard, in so many different ways and being soundly rejected so often, I finally gave up on new friends in Ontario and decided that the friends that I already had were as many as I would ever have. Thank God they were as awesome as they are or I would never have made it in this province! In any event, I was determined to give making new friends one more shot. Many questioned my methods but I figure that I've tried most of what isn't frowned upon so what the hey....I'll go with something different! So I went a rather non traditional (and a little scary for me) route and lo and behold, I started meeting new people! Go figure! Most of the people I met were not the sort who became close friends, but they were still worthwhile people and I enjoyed spending time with them. Then the really "out of the Ontario way" thing happened. I met a really nice guy! The kind I would consider actually calling "friend"! Here! In Ontario! After nine years! Wow! Cool! He's charming, smart, witty and fun to be around. In short, my kind of people. AND...he introduced me to more much like him! Nice people! Really nice people! Again, people I would certainly consider calling "friend". I've only been back a month and a half and now have a new circle of friends. How cool is that?! Friends are and will always be a treasure that I don't take lightly. When I find them, I pray that they will be able to put up with me and all my idiosyncratic ways and that friendship will truly become a given. At this point, I think I'm well on my way. Who'd a thunk it?! Very, very cool!
So I now have something of a life. Interesting concept for me. A good one, but different. And not just good. Really, truly GOOD. I find myself spending as much time as possible with this new friend and by extension, I get to share his friends. As mentioned, I am a Facebook person. In talking, it was mentioned that he was on Facebook so one day I went to add him as a friend. When I got to the spot on Facebook where you did this, I looked at what I was doing, quickly realized that I had somehow made a mistake, went back to my homepage and started over. There it was again! "You have one mutual friend". ?????? That's not possible. (at this point I actually shook my head for real!) I met this man a few weeks ago and it says here that we have a "mutual friend"?? Okay, let's review. He was born in Bermuda to British parents and spent at least 30 years of his life there. Another chunk of time was spent living in the UK. I spent the first 41 years of my life in Nova Scotia, Canada, then the next nine in Ontario, Canada where I met this person with the really cool past. He's been in Canada 12 years. I've been in Canada all my life. None of this leads me to the path that says "you have one mutual friend". In fact...none of it seems even remotely possible. (I'm still shaking my head). I finally focused enough to actually read who that mutual friend was. GET OUT !!!! No way!! Not possible!! Our "mutual friend" was none other then the wonderful guy I had just met and connected with so well while home for Christmas! What??!! Slowly, very slowly, things started to click in my brain. I remembered my new friend at home talking about his days in the theatre in Bermuda. I remembered a phone call that he received from his "old mate Pete" (name changed to protect the none too innocent!) who he hadn't heard from in years, I remembered the many fascinating stories of sailing and diving the Bermuda waters. I then remembered hearing those same stories from Pete!! These two men, both new found friends of mine, go back years and years! Good grief!! I'm back to the whole NO WAY thing! This stuff doesn't happen in real life. And it certainly doesn't happen to me! And yet it did. I spoke to Pete the next day and got the final confirmation. Yup, two new friends, one in Halifax, NS one in Fergus, ON know one another far better than they know me! To say my mind was blown would be such an understatement as to be a joke but I was totally and utterly gobsmacked! (the two men in question would approve of that word. My nod to them). We're not just talking half of Canada here. This one spans oceans and even entire continents! Yup - gobsmacked it is! Serendipity? God works in mysterious ways? It's a small world? Six degrees of separation? Whatever you call it, it still blows my mind!
So here I am,roughly a month and a half later, with new friends, actually enjoying Ontario since I first arrived and still shaking my head incredulously at the way all of this happened. A miracle? Probably not even close. An incredible gift? You bet. And it all started when, where and how? At Christmas, in Nova Scotia through my best friend! While I realize that Nova Scotia cannot really take all the credit for this one, you have to admit, it is kinda neat!!!
Merry Christmas Rachel!!!
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About Me
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Friday, March 12, 2010
Home For The Holidays
After 9 years of holidays in Guelph, last Christmas I went home for the holidays for the first time ever. It was amazing. It was an eye opener. It was fun. It was cathartic. It was truly the best way I could have spent Christmas without actually living there. It gave the term "Home For The Holidays" a whole new meaning for me. And it gave me an even greater appreciation of the word "home".
My flight landed at approximately 4:30 in the afternoon and by 8 that same evening, not only was I firmly ensconced in my best friend's home and feeling great, but was on my way to spend time with still another good friend. I've been home less than 4 hours and have already connected with two of my closest friends. This is significant mostly I think because these people do not live in the same house. Or even on the same street. They are mutual friends, but both in their own ways, went out of their way to spend time with me, almost immediately. These are special people. Truly special people. They care and they show it. They are Maritimers. And this is who and what we are and do.(I will always consider myself a Maritimer) We love. We spend quality and quantity time. We are loving, caring, nurturing people. And it shows. Just visit a Maritime province (I highly recommend Nova Scotia). You'll see and feel what I'm talking about.
While scattered and seemingly unfocused, this rather odd intro really is going somewhere. You see, with all due respect to the great Thomas Wolfe, I don't believe his adage "you can't go home again". I used to. I really did. Until I went home and proved him wrong. And I am thrilled that I did!
I spent a month in Nova Scotia after a four year absence. Not just in Nova Scotia but in Dartmouth, the city where I spent the first 41 years of my life until I moved here to Guelph 9 years ago. While I have been back to Nova Scotia, I had not been to Dartmouth in 6 years, so before leaving Guelph, I tried my best to prepare for the inevitable shock that I knew was to come after being gone from home for so long. I wondered at the many changes that must have taken place during my years away. I wondered if the genuineness of the people had changed with the passing years. I steeled myself to accept the changes and enjoy simply being home. Imagine my delight when it finally sunk in that not only was I home, but that "home" had not changed! In fact, it had changed so little that that became the shock. Yes there were new buildings. Yes some buildings were gone. But the essence of my home was the same. Right down to my old stomping grounds! The buildings were still there, though a few had had much needed face lifts but the people and the way of life and the water....let's never forget the water (it's not called The City of Lakes for nothing!)....were all still the same!
In Guelph, I'd spent 9 years watching people run from one appointment to the next. Diaries and calendars at the ready so that a coffee date could be scheduled for a month from Tuesday next. That's life in Ontario. It's the way people are. It's the way things work. It's what is. I don't like it, but it's the way life is lived here. By dates, full schedules and good intentioned but often broken promises. Which is why the first two paragraphs of this entry were what they were. To establish the difference between life in Nova Scotia and life in Ontario, one has to look at how life is lived. And not just lived but accepted as the norm. And in Ontario, I cannot conceive of a circumstance where I could send an email saying "I'm here. Where are you?" and promptly getting the reply "give me an hour and I'll be ready" and actually having it happen! It wasn't planned! It wasn't part of the itinerary. It was unscheduled. It doesn't happen here. It did happen there.It was great! I arrived at the airport, was met by my best friend, drove to her place where I didn't even bother unpacking (My God what was I thinking??), spent a few hours chatting and catching up, then shot off the afore-mentioned email. And then we were three! And the three of us spent a very long, very impromptu, incredibly wonderful evening together. All totally unscripted! (well, except for the airport part but even there the plane was late!). A totally unrehearsed, unplanned, fun filled evening among friends. Copious quantities of coffee were consumed. Very little sleep was had. All in all it was a great night. At home. Wow. What a great welcome home! Then the fun began.
Holidays, especially Christmas I think, mean different things to different people. Ergo, everyone has a different idea of what makes Christmas "special" for them. It's a very individual thing and there is no right or wrong. As long as the happiness is there, it's your holiday. For some it's about friends. For others, presents. Still others feel that immediate family is what it's all about and no one shall encroach upon this sacred ritual. Some look forward to Christmas simply because the food is usually great if not downright spectacular! For me, Christmas is pretty much all of the above. I'd be less than honest if I said that I didn't care about gifts. I do. But in order to be truly appreciated, a gift has to have thought, love and care put into it. Otherwise save your money. In fact, in many cases, saving your money and making me something is absolutely the best way to go for a gift for me! The old adage "it's the thought that counts" didn't get to be an old adage for no reason! I love the food too. I have a sweet tooth that refuses to be denied, especially at Christmas so when those cookies are brought out, make way....I'm coming through!! I do love cookies! Especially the kinds that seem to crop up only around Christmas. And people. What would gifts and cookies and even turkey for that matter be, without wonderful people to share it with? My answer is "not much!". Over the years I have come to realize that blood has little to do with family. My family are those people I choose to love and share my life with. Not necessarily people with whom I share DNA. That's okay. It works and the people I call "family" are all people I love and who love me. That's what families are made of. Love. Simply put. One word. All encompassing. Love. It makes the world go 'round and it creates and sustains families.....no matter what kind of family you have. And that's what my Christmas was. Friends, great food, presents, my own brand of "family" and love. Lots and lots of love. No timetables. No diaries. No loved ones saying "sorry...no time". Real people, doing real things, in real time. Yes people had jobs. Yes there were obligations to be fulfilled. But never at anyone else's expense. No one was ever "left out" because people were "too busy". This, is what home is. This is what I miss so much. This is what I love. And this was my Christmas this year. Home. It means so many different things to so many different people but I think it all boils down to the same thing in the final analysis. If you are where you love and are loved, you are home. I was indeed....home.
And this people, believe it or not, is only Part I!!! Stay tuned! It gets better!
.
My flight landed at approximately 4:30 in the afternoon and by 8 that same evening, not only was I firmly ensconced in my best friend's home and feeling great, but was on my way to spend time with still another good friend. I've been home less than 4 hours and have already connected with two of my closest friends. This is significant mostly I think because these people do not live in the same house. Or even on the same street. They are mutual friends, but both in their own ways, went out of their way to spend time with me, almost immediately. These are special people. Truly special people. They care and they show it. They are Maritimers. And this is who and what we are and do.(I will always consider myself a Maritimer) We love. We spend quality and quantity time. We are loving, caring, nurturing people. And it shows. Just visit a Maritime province (I highly recommend Nova Scotia). You'll see and feel what I'm talking about.
While scattered and seemingly unfocused, this rather odd intro really is going somewhere. You see, with all due respect to the great Thomas Wolfe, I don't believe his adage "you can't go home again". I used to. I really did. Until I went home and proved him wrong. And I am thrilled that I did!
I spent a month in Nova Scotia after a four year absence. Not just in Nova Scotia but in Dartmouth, the city where I spent the first 41 years of my life until I moved here to Guelph 9 years ago. While I have been back to Nova Scotia, I had not been to Dartmouth in 6 years, so before leaving Guelph, I tried my best to prepare for the inevitable shock that I knew was to come after being gone from home for so long. I wondered at the many changes that must have taken place during my years away. I wondered if the genuineness of the people had changed with the passing years. I steeled myself to accept the changes and enjoy simply being home. Imagine my delight when it finally sunk in that not only was I home, but that "home" had not changed! In fact, it had changed so little that that became the shock. Yes there were new buildings. Yes some buildings were gone. But the essence of my home was the same. Right down to my old stomping grounds! The buildings were still there, though a few had had much needed face lifts but the people and the way of life and the water....let's never forget the water (it's not called The City of Lakes for nothing!)....were all still the same!
In Guelph, I'd spent 9 years watching people run from one appointment to the next. Diaries and calendars at the ready so that a coffee date could be scheduled for a month from Tuesday next. That's life in Ontario. It's the way people are. It's the way things work. It's what is. I don't like it, but it's the way life is lived here. By dates, full schedules and good intentioned but often broken promises. Which is why the first two paragraphs of this entry were what they were. To establish the difference between life in Nova Scotia and life in Ontario, one has to look at how life is lived. And not just lived but accepted as the norm. And in Ontario, I cannot conceive of a circumstance where I could send an email saying "I'm here. Where are you?" and promptly getting the reply "give me an hour and I'll be ready" and actually having it happen! It wasn't planned! It wasn't part of the itinerary. It was unscheduled. It doesn't happen here. It did happen there.It was great! I arrived at the airport, was met by my best friend, drove to her place where I didn't even bother unpacking (My God what was I thinking??), spent a few hours chatting and catching up, then shot off the afore-mentioned email. And then we were three! And the three of us spent a very long, very impromptu, incredibly wonderful evening together. All totally unscripted! (well, except for the airport part but even there the plane was late!). A totally unrehearsed, unplanned, fun filled evening among friends. Copious quantities of coffee were consumed. Very little sleep was had. All in all it was a great night. At home. Wow. What a great welcome home! Then the fun began.
Holidays, especially Christmas I think, mean different things to different people. Ergo, everyone has a different idea of what makes Christmas "special" for them. It's a very individual thing and there is no right or wrong. As long as the happiness is there, it's your holiday. For some it's about friends. For others, presents. Still others feel that immediate family is what it's all about and no one shall encroach upon this sacred ritual. Some look forward to Christmas simply because the food is usually great if not downright spectacular! For me, Christmas is pretty much all of the above. I'd be less than honest if I said that I didn't care about gifts. I do. But in order to be truly appreciated, a gift has to have thought, love and care put into it. Otherwise save your money. In fact, in many cases, saving your money and making me something is absolutely the best way to go for a gift for me! The old adage "it's the thought that counts" didn't get to be an old adage for no reason! I love the food too. I have a sweet tooth that refuses to be denied, especially at Christmas so when those cookies are brought out, make way....I'm coming through!! I do love cookies! Especially the kinds that seem to crop up only around Christmas. And people. What would gifts and cookies and even turkey for that matter be, without wonderful people to share it with? My answer is "not much!". Over the years I have come to realize that blood has little to do with family. My family are those people I choose to love and share my life with. Not necessarily people with whom I share DNA. That's okay. It works and the people I call "family" are all people I love and who love me. That's what families are made of. Love. Simply put. One word. All encompassing. Love. It makes the world go 'round and it creates and sustains families.....no matter what kind of family you have. And that's what my Christmas was. Friends, great food, presents, my own brand of "family" and love. Lots and lots of love. No timetables. No diaries. No loved ones saying "sorry...no time". Real people, doing real things, in real time. Yes people had jobs. Yes there were obligations to be fulfilled. But never at anyone else's expense. No one was ever "left out" because people were "too busy". This, is what home is. This is what I miss so much. This is what I love. And this was my Christmas this year. Home. It means so many different things to so many different people but I think it all boils down to the same thing in the final analysis. If you are where you love and are loved, you are home. I was indeed....home.
And this people, believe it or not, is only Part I!!! Stay tuned! It gets better!
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